Is silence the worst form of violence?

By Daniel Zopoula | November 6, 2011 |

We hear people speaking about the “silent” treatment in their relationship. I wonder if you have ever experience the power of silence in creating drama, destabilizing relationship and fostering a culture of fear and distrust. The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships.  It breeds bitterness and anger on both ends. It is a poison, a lethal weapon in breading emotional abuse. From the Book “Crucial Confrontation” we learn that silence is a potent form of violence. So, watch for the manifestation of silence in your relationship and increase dialogue when you see manifestation of it.

Silence episodes include:

  1. Withdrawing – Pulling our of communication completely; physical, emotional, psychological
  2. Avoiding – Staying away from unsafe topics or issues
  3. Masking – understating, sugar coating, sarcasm, selectively showing

Violence episodes include:

  1. Controlling – coercing others through how we share our views – interrupting, overstating, absolutes
  2. Labeling – trying to win or have others give in through ridiculing their ideas
  3. Attacking – making sure others hurt; emotional, physical, psychological

So, what is your story? may be you said so much by not saying anything? what is shaping your relationships? Silence or Violence? Increase diligence and care.

Posted in Emotional Life, Mental Life, Spiritual Life

About Daniel Zopoula

Daniel is a is a provocative leader in Christian Practice. A long-distance runner in the struggle for justice, Daniel's journey is rooted in a rich African tradition of soulcraft that put a premium on Ancestor appreciation, gentle embrace of others, cultural manners and social justice. Though deeply wounded and perennially scarred by the traumatic circumstances that paved the realities of his upbringings, Daniel emerged with great dignity, decency and integrity, love, courage and humour; choosing social advocacy rather than a life of blind avarice and personal subservience. The sum realities of pervasive terror, chronic trauma and vicious stigma that was shot through the "soul-making" of young Daniel yielded his true passion to profoundly influence, lead and inspire people from all walks of life into positive change and bearing witness to love and justice. Daniel's story is a tale of a man courageous enough to be fully human, living and loving out loud: "When your life doesn't belong to you, survival is not required," he says. Daniel writes and speaks internationally on Christian Practice, Spiritual & Emotional Leadership, Inspiration, Personal & Organizational health, Family Systems, Trauma, and Emotional Wellness. Daniel is a personal growth, and spiritual health consultant; a Life Coach, Spiritual Adviser, Author, Speaker, Activist.

1 Comment

  1. Peter on October 7, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    WITHDRAWING
    In my journey there has been certain relationships I have chosen to walk away from for health reason. Quite simply interaction has just become too unhealthy and costly to afford and attempts to reach a healthy interaction have failed after numerous attempts. With misconduct towards me still happening there just seem to be no other way but to walk away.

    Some people want to perpetuate the drama relationship even as it hurts the other. With Divine intervention or with community’s input, sometimes, the relationship can be resurrected of course.

    For me, it is best to be patient as reconnecting is not necessarily wise or healthy.

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