Is silence the worst form of violence?
We hear people speaking about the “silent” treatment in their relationship. I wonder if you have ever experience the power of silence in creating drama, destabilizing relationship and fostering a culture of fear and distrust. The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships. It breeds bitterness and anger on both ends. It is a poison, a lethal weapon in breading emotional abuse. From the Book “Crucial Confrontation” we learn that silence is a potent form of violence. So, watch for the manifestation of silence in your relationship and increase dialogue when you see manifestation of it.
Silence episodes include:
- Withdrawing – Pulling our of communication completely; physical, emotional, psychological
- Avoiding – Staying away from unsafe topics or issues
- Masking – understating, sugar coating, sarcasm, selectively showing
Violence episodes include:
- Controlling – coercing others through how we share our views – interrupting, overstating, absolutes
- Labeling – trying to win or have others give in through ridiculing their ideas
- Attacking – making sure others hurt; emotional, physical, psychological
So, what is your story? may be you said so much by not saying anything? what is shaping your relationships? Silence or Violence? Increase diligence and care.
In my journey there has been certain relationships I have chosen to walk away from for health reason. Quite simply interaction has just become too unhealthy and costly to afford and attempts to reach a healthy interaction have failed after numerous attempts. With misconduct towards me still happening there just seem to be no other way but to walk away.
Some people want to perpetuate the drama relationship even as it hurts the other. With Divine intervention or with community’s input, sometimes, the relationship can be resurrected of course.
For me, it is best to be patient as reconnecting is not necessarily wise or healthy.